Not Happy, Not Independent, but still a Day to be Remembered

[red_room]

It's two days before when Natasha finally remembers.

There's fewer channels than there used to be but the world has somehow kept on spinning after Thanos. People need a news source. There's a somber section tacked on at the end of the morning program reminding people to contact their remaining loved ones and be safe this coming Independence Day and that's it. The next thing Natasha knows she's shattering a perfectly good souvenir coffee mug Tony stocked this place up with and swearing up a storm because it's about to be the Fourth of July.

Now, Steve's never been big on birthday celebrations. Tony threw huge parties for him the first couple of years after they all came together on Independence Day half as a joke and half because no one actually knew when his real birthday was. It was Clint who finally got it out of him that, yes, all joking and propaganda aside this was his actual birthday. The jokes were twice as bad that year. Lately though things have been a lot quieter. The team started to fall apart. Steve and Tony never did see eye to eye.

And now...?

If Natasha doesn't do something for Steve there's a good chance no one will. Oh sure, people might make some blog posts or tag an abandoned building in Captain America's honor. It's touching. Sweet. But they're not friends nor are those wishes for Steve Rogers as a person. The man himself certainly isn't going to do it. If he remembers his birthday at all it'll be to sit in his room listening to old records sipping alcohol that won't affect him while he remembers people who are dead. Birthdays should be for the living.

It's about time Steve remembers he's got people here.

The spy scoops up her phone, fingers tapping impatiently at the lock screen so she can make a call.

"Rocket. Tell me you're in this sector. We've got work to do."

Comments

[red_room]

"Hey there, stranger."

There's no dress code for this sort of thing, but even before they tended to at least make an effort when it came to their gatherings. Today's not like that at all. Natasha's in a simple tank top and khaki shorts when Thor wanders toward the only occupied part of the complex. She can't quite lose the habit of wearing at least basic makeup, but that's more comfort than it is trying to impress anyone.

"I'll tell the boys to fire the grill up now that you're here. We didn't want to start early. Steve's catching up with everyone and hasn't told us we didn't have to do this once yet, so I'm counting this as a win."

[pirateangelbaby]

Whether Natasha is just putting on a friendly face or she's genuinely pleased to see him, Thor can't tell, even after the time he's spent in her company before. But either way, it eases his nerves a little to be greeted like this, and he manages a smile for her. "Hey yourself."

Good to see he hasn't underdressed for the occasion, anyway. The last time they were together for an event like this, it was way more formal. He hadn't minded back then. The effort seems exhausting, now. But at least he's not the only one who thinks so today.

Thor props up Stormbreaker against the wall, well out of the way of any foot traffic, where it should be safe until he needs to go back home. "That does sound like a victory," he agrees, though there's still time for Steve to say otherwise in between now and dinner's end. Thor runs his metal fingers through his hair, making sure it's behaving how he wants. "Everyone else made it safely?"

[red_room]

One thing that's universally seemed to vanish after The Snap are the efforts int things that don't really seem to matter. Ornate high class affairs aren't gone entirely from the world but there's very little reason to hold them just yet. Considering how much of a chore it was just to get what once would have been considered a pretty Basic grocery list, asking folks to find or show up in their nice clothes just seems like work that doesn't need to be done.

"Everyone who decided to come, yeah." Natasha holds in a sigh and shakes her head right after. It's really no surprise to anyone not to have Tony here. Nor did Natasha reach out to Bruce though she could have probably found him. But most everyone else is here. Natasha can point out where they're gathered.

Okoye will outclass all of them in her Wakandan fashion from where she stands quietly discussing Work with Rhodey while they sip at beers. Nebula has absconded a bowl of the chopped fruit salad that Natasha made and is sitting off a little bit on her own though close enough to listen and speak up when the conversations cross something she understands. She seems a bit lost at a gathering like this, though not upset about it. Being included and accepted is still hard for her to understand.

She's quietly sad that Tony hasn't come. He's the closest thing she has to a friend out of the humans, though Rocket is lingering around at least. She won't be alone. In fact, Steve's apt to purposefully put himself between her and the others so that she's got someone to talk to if she wants. He's been rather quiet himself though not ungrateful in the least.

Natasha gives Thor a small smile. She knows it's not nearly enough of them. But it's what's left. It's home, as much as she can make of it.

"See? I'll grab us drinks. Just a second."

[pirateangelbaby]

Everyone who decided to come. Well, that's... still good news, Thor tells himself. Still, as he approaches the rest of the party guests and recognizes them each in turn, he can't help but also notice those who are missing. The absence of Stark's endless chatter in particular stands out, and Thor tries not to think on those who are not here because they can't be. This is supposed to be a celebration, or as close as they can make it. A happy occasion. If there was ever an occasion he should not be ruining by crying into his beer, it's this one.

So he puts a smile on his face and waves hello to those he knows, gives nods of greeting to those he's met in passing, and greets Steve with a friendly pat on the shoulder. It is truly good to see him, even though it hasn't been terribly long since his friend last paid a visit to Asvera. "So I hear you've reached a venerable old age," he says, keeping his tone light.

[juststeverogers]

Steve can only just barely hold his tongue at the teasing jab. Not because it isn't appropriate for the occasion, but because 'I'm one of the only ones left how can, pal' just feels insensitive given the situation. Maybe he's becoming cynical or maybe he's been thinking too much of people who aren't here the last few days. When Rhodey came and told him they were holding a dinner for him Steve couldn't believe it.

He can't deny it's probably better for him than what his own plans for the day were going to be though. It feels...good. To be around the friends that are still here. Better that Thor's beaten back his own personal demons to come out and see them all.

"That's what they tell me." Steve says instead. "Though if you ask me it's cheating to miss out on most of them by being asleep. I don't feel it, but they expect me to act my age. Seems unfair." That's safer. Not as apt to drag up unwanted memories for Thor or anyone else in earshot.

The soldier turns and grasps Thor on the arm. Holds it there just long enough to hopefully draw the God's eye to meet Steve's own. It's good to see him. He wants Thor to know that.

"Started volunteering for a neighborhood restoration initiative down by my apartment. It almost feels like..." Steve pauses before he glances up again. "Like being back Home. In my time. We organize neighborhood potlucks, help folks get their places fixed whenever anything breaks. I know everyone I live by suddenly. It's. It's strange. Not bad, though."

[pirateangelbaby]

It's a tough situation all around, trying to decide what to say. Thor hadn't thought that the traditional 'happy birthday' would have been very tactful either, given the circumstances. But he means well enough, and though there's the slightest of pauses before Steve responds, Thor doesn't have enough time to worry that he's accidentally made an even worse misstep.

That deliberate eye contact helps a lot, too, and after a moment's hesitation Thor returns the gesture, grasping Steve's arm in something like the warrior's handshake he knows. There are vanishingly few people he can trade those with these days, and even fewer that he can call friend. His smile becomes just a little easier, a little more genuine.

Having lost his own home now, Thor understands that sort of homesickness, seeing glimpses of the familiar in something new. It's a blessing and a curse all at once, though Steve's said little about the latter. And it is good news, working toward something helpful for himself and those around him. Tragedy bringing them together, rather than splintering them apart.

There's a metaphor there, probably, but Thor is not the wordsmith that Loki was, and he feels like trying his hand at putting it to words might not go as well as he intends. So he just smiles instead, making an effort to relax and focus on his friend. "That does sound nice," he agrees, vaguely familiar enough with what a potluck is to make sense of that. "Your neighbors must feel very lucky to know you are there to help them. I certainly feel fortunate to have your friendship, myself." Awkwardly put, maybe, but still sincerely said.

[red_room]

If nothing else goes to plan today, then walking up watching Steve and Thor trading those Asgardian handshakes Thor holds in so much esteem while looking altogether more happy and Present than either has seemed in months now will make all of the work Natasha's put into this more than worth it. The spy lingers off to the side while they make idle chatter while she sips at her own beer and listens without interrupting. She didn't know Steve was volunteering around his place.

It's good for him to be doing things that involve more than remembering those who are lost.

"Here we are. Drink for the thirsty and news of food coming up shortly. Rhodey insists he's got the grilling handled so I left him to it. Any requests should go through him. But the rest of the spread is all ready to go. I made it last night." No one's left here that would fight him for that or argue about how to do it, either, so he's sure to get on without being harassed. Natasha holds out a beer for Thor to take. It's ridiculously light even by human standards but this is intentional. If it isn't seen even to be an acceptable substitute for alcohol to the god then maybe he won't feel as inclined to drown himself in it.

[pirateangelbaby]

"You've done well," Thor says approvingly, looking over the tables at their offerings. Modest it may be, but it's still the largest feast that he's seen since... well, since. Fresh fruits and vegetables are still hard to come by in Asvera, as with many parts of Earth, and she's managed to gather them anyway. Natasha has always had her ways of getting exactly what she needs, or making do with what she has, and that talent clearly hasn't been left by the wayside. Despite his nerves, he finds he actually does have an appetite today, and the scent of smoke on the breeze makes his stomach growl in anticipation.

Until then, of course, he takes the offered beer with only the slightest flicker of regret that he hadn't thought to bring a flask along. Or a keg. This is Steven's birthday, after all. But even if the human-brewed drink is too weak to warm his blood, at least the taste is familiar, and that's its own sort of comfort. "Thank you. That's our cue to get something to wash down with it, I think," he adds as an aside to Steve, nodding toward the table with the food on it. It's been some time since he's shared a meal with his human friends - a real one, not just drinks - and now that he's here, he's finding that he's missed it a lot.

[juststeverogers]

It's a very simple setting. Most of the vegetables have been simply roasted before being set out on a platter and the fruit salad is nothing more than chopped fruit combined into a large serving bowl. The bread Natasha definitely didn't make. She and Rocket asked around until they found a working bakery to buy several loaves from. It's been sliced roughly and laid out with an assortment of simple spreads to put on it. The pound cake and fruit compote though, those Natasha did make.

No one but she and Rocket knows how many attempts it took and it's going to stay that way.

"I really appreciate the work you put into this, Nat." Steve means it, too. He knows better than most how much work something like this must have been considering how much of it's fresh and not processed food. Even if it had been the effort was still made. On his behalf even. It's touching. Steve didn't think he could feel this way anymore.

For others, yeah. But for himself?

"I can get behind that." Steve sets his own beer aside to get up and get the three of them sturdy paper plates to hand out. But he'll insist on Natasha getting herself something first. She made this, she should enjoy it. A compliment Natasha doesn't quite brush off. She had plenty of help from Rocket but she knows better than to volunteer that information if he hasn't himself.

"Looks like steak, burgers, and grilled chicken's on the way too." Steve gives a low whistle. He's damn impressed by the selection. "I don't know how you managed that but it smells great. Wait, I know what that is--Thor if you have never tried potato salad you really gotta. Homemade like this? It's real good stuff."

[pirateangelbaby]

He's not terribly well-versed with Midgardian birthday customs, but wasn't there one about the honored one eating first? Or was that just for cake? Either way, Nebula's gotten the jump on the fruit bowl and Natasha did do a great deal of work to make this all happen. Simple or not, it couldn't have been low effort. And if Steven wants to give that first honor to her, Thor will back him up all the way.

The lack of complexity in the dishes means that most of what's there is familiar, as well, so that Thor doesn't have to puzzle his way around the buffet table. A little of this, a little of that, something to eat while the meat is still cooking. He tilts his head slightly when Steve points out the potato salad, something that hasn't come up during his time spent on Midgard before. "What makes it a salad, exactly?" he wonders idly, even as he dutifully scoops a serving onto his plate. Salads are supposed to be lettuce and vegetables, or so he'd thought. But apparently the fruit is a salad too, and there isn't any lettuce, or any ingredients in common.

Earth languages can be so weird.

[juststeverogers]

"Because it's got a dressing, I think?" It won't explain the fruit 'salad' any but Steve's trying to be helpful even if his answer is a huge stab in the dark. The more important thing is that it's tasty in this scenario.

There used to be a time when Steve hated eating in front of others. Hated how his metabolism needed him to eat enough food for a whole family in a sitting so far as standards for how he was raised were concerned. So far food hasn't been short exactly, even if there haven't been a whole lot of options compared to usual. Steve knows a lot of Depression Era simple dishes he can make to stretch things out more, too. But here, among the remnants of the Avengers, Steve isn't afraid to load up his plate.

They know how he needs to eat. He'd get more shit if he didn't take his fill.

Steve still isn't going to linger over the food though. The sooner he eats it the less opportunity there will be for people to stare or to watch him eat. Once he's taken his seat again by his beer he's going to dig into the potato salad with a pleased murmur.

"Any good seafood recipes come out of Asvera yet? Fishing village like that, I have to imagine folks are starting to experiment a bit."

[pirateangelbaby]

It may be a guess, but it makes as much sense as anything else Thor's come up with. Either way, it's food, and Steve says it's good, so that's good enough for him.

And it is good, if not entirely what he'd expected. Thor has no qualms about digging in once they're seated, in the grand old tradition of Avengers dinners. Not that they were usually outside in the past, but it's... nice, and he's inclined to help keep any rainclouds at bay if that becomes necessary. He certainly isn't planning to make it rain on his friend's birthday.

"A little," he agrees. "Some more successful than others. Salt cod pizza wasn't exactly a hit, but there's a fish stew that's getting popular. There's a lot of preserved fish still in the storehouses to work with; that's most of what's getting tested. We didn't eat much fish on Asgard, before. Most of it came from Vanaheim. There's been more and more fresh catch coming in on the boats though, so they must be getting the hang of it."

[juststeverogers]

Steve's nearly forgotten what it's like to feel normal. But sitting here, next to Thor and sharing a meal, he doesn't feel like something Else. It may not be a hangup exactly anymore. Too many things are much more debilitating than his eating habits. But this small moment is one he's going to quietly cherish for weeks to come. This feeling of being completely at ease among his peers.

Something Steve hasn't had a whole lot of lately or really ever since he woke up with his enhanced body.

Thor may be upset that he hasn't brought anything to give Steve but just him being here is giving the soldier a reprieve he hadn't even known he'd needed. He slows down while he eats, glancing over at Thor while the other speaks.

"Lotta folks are having to learn new ways to adapt. I'm surprised every day by how resourceful and resilient they are."

They're both going to get a generous slice of the bread handed to them by Natasha when she sits down nibbling on what looks to be a literal Grilled cheese sandwich. She hasn't been in on the conversation up until now but settles herself into a chair easily as though she'd been here the whole time.

"Speaking of getting the hang of things, you can both keep your opinions to yourselves if the pound cake isn't very good. I'm a lot of things but a homemaker sure as hell isn't one."

[pirateangelbaby]

It's a little strange coming back to the Avengers after everything that's happened, so assured that he wouldn't be welcome back even if he'd been told otherwise. But nobody's looked at Thor with blame in their eyes, or told him to leave, or done anything other than wave hello or invite him to sit down at the table. He's missed this, sitting among friends who have come to know him as he is, not as the distant prince or the reclusive king. Asvera may feel like home in time, but now, this feels closer than he's been since Ragnarok.

The longer he sits here, the more his nerves ease, and he can't blame it on the weak beer this time. It's been harder to smile in recent days, but today, it's just a little easier.

"I am too," he agrees, and hopes that the Asgardians can learn to be just as adaptive as those whose homeworld they now share.

Thor smiles when Natasha joins them, accepting the bread with a nod of thanks. He doesn't quite laugh at her preemptive defense of her cooking, just shifts in his seat a little to include her in their comfortable little circle. "It's a cake, how bad could it be?"

[red_room]

"He's got a point, Nat. Besides, you don't wanna know the kind of stuff I grew up eating." It's the first time Natasha's seen Steve smile in months. It's tired and it's ragged but it's there all the same. She has to wonder if her own has softened this much after everything they've been through.

It was never something she had to wonder about before but there's been no reason to school her expressions when she spends most of her time working alone in an office.

"We're supposed to be celebrating your birthday not reminding you of the goddamn Great Depression. But I'll keep that in mind next time I want to fix you a snack. Onion sandwiches maybe." She chuckles softly around her beer but outright laughs when Steve nudges her chair to tip back precariously before he lets her settle in her seat.

"If I'd dropped my grilled cheese you'd all be dead men. Anyway, I made a fruit topping to go on it. It looked a bit dry."

[pirateangelbaby]

Onion sandwiches? Is that supposed to be a joke, or yet another bizarre concoction that people ate back in Steve's youth? Thor honestly can't tell; humans eat some strange things. Either way, his friend does not look like he's in any hurry to take her up on the offer, so Thor chuckles a little, taking a drink from his beer.

"I'm sure it'll be delicious," he says, in regards to the cake and its accompaniment. And then, because Steve is in a good mood and because Thor knows this Midgardian birthday tradition perfectly well, he adds, "Are you planning to make us all sing?"

[red_room]

"Make you?" That voice is pure trouble. Steve's head is snapping around so fast it's a wonder he doesn't get whiplash from the motion. Nothing good ever comes from that tone. Empires will collapse and be torn asunder by the machinations that voice has wrought.

"No, I couldn't make you do that. And Steve could stop me if I tried." The former spy takes a far too dainty sip out of her bottle and nibbles at her grilled cheese sandwich while a silence falls across the little patio chairs and table they're all sitting on and around.

Just long enough for the hope to maybe be there that she's going to let the conversation drop. Nebula is eyeing this from across the yard carefully.

"But he really couldn't stop you if you wanted to, Thor. And it is tradition."

Steve's groan is going to make anyone in earshot crane heads to see.

[pirateangelbaby]

Thor's smile falters a little when he realizes that everyone's attention is on him. It's not a position he hasn't been in countless times before, but he hadn't exactly expected it right now, and a vague look of I've made a mistake flashes in his eye as he struggles with how to respond. Does he make a joke and laugh it off? Should he just start singing? He'd look like a fool if he did it alone.

It's Rocket of all people who comes to his rescue. He's had enough experience with Terran birthday nonsense to know this tradition, too. "Not until we set the cake on fire, it ain't," he says, immediately abandoning his plate of food next to Nebula to get candles and a lighter.

"Yes, exactly," Thor agrees quickly, rallying himself in the reprieve that moment gives him.

[juststeverogers]

"You set your festivity food on fire?" Nebula's dark eyes track across the humans before she climbs to her feet to go and follow Rocket inside. "I need to see this." Of course, it's them so if the candles end up being sparklers or some other ridiculous nonsense really they've only themselves to blame.

Steve watches the duo disappear inside with a slow shake of his head. He knows not what he does, only that it seems to have caught Nebula's interest. She's quiet so much of the time but it's clear in moments like this that she is starting to feel as though she belongs.

"I don't want to hear smoke alarms going off you hear me!" Rhodes is calling out after the two Guardians, more aware than most of what is being risked here. But he won't leave his spot by the grill. Not while there's still meat to churn out. "Alright you guys help yourselves in the meantime. I've got a decent spread available now."

"...Thanks Rhodey." Steve flashes the fellow soldier a tired smile before he climbs back out of his seat. "Nat, Thor? Can I get you anything?"

[pirateangelbaby]

"Hell yeah they do," Rocket answers enthusiastically, making a beeline right for the flammables. Of course he knows where they are. At least Natasha shouldn't have to worry about them blowing up the cake; Rocket's been wanting to eat it ever since she started baking it and he's not about to ruin his chances now. Though perhaps it's a good thing that there aren't a hundred and one birthday candles in the kitchen drawers, because he would still be tempted to try making them all fit.

Since they seem to have things well in hand, Thor is free to focus on the more immediately interesting part of the gathering, which is the plethora of grilled meats beginning to pile up next to the grill. Though at first he intends to let Steve fetch food for his friends since that seems to make him happy, once he opens his mouth to answer it occurs to him that between the two of them, plus Natasha, that might be a tall order for one man to carry alone. Even if that man is Steve Rogers. Plus, it's his birthday, he probably shouldn't be doing all the work. "Steak, of course, but I'll give you a hand with it."

[juststeverogers]

Natasha watches them disappear inside but doesn't put down her beer about it. She's aware more than anyone just how much Rocket's been looking forward to this part of the meal. Besides, if the strapping men are offering to grab her a plate full of meat she's not going to argue.

"Chicken's fine for me. The marinade's a family secret, so I've been eager to try it, see if I got it right." A Barton family secret, that is. But they were her family. Natasha's not too proud to admit it anymore, though they're no longer here to know it.

"I'll have to have a bit myself then." Steve quips with a knowing small nod before he and Thor look over what's on offer. "Smells good. Let's load up."

[pirateangelbaby]

Between the unreliability of his appetite and the difficulty that must have gone into finding enough food for this many guests, Thor doesn't load up his plate quite as much as he would've in the past, but it's still more than a hefty helping by human standards. If Asgard ever had comfort food, big slabs of meat on the bone was definitely near the top of the list.

He takes custody of Steve's plate as well, so the man himself has both hands free to fix Natasha's. With only weak beer in his system so far, Thor's hands are more than steady enough to get two fully loaded plates back to the table safely.

Rocket emerges from the complex, Nebula in tow, carrying a pack of lightly-used birthday candles. He nicks the grill lighter from Rhodes on the way, smooth as you please. "All right, just stick 'em in wherever," he tells Nebula, nodding to the cake.

[red_room]

"Thanks, pal."

It's a quiet murmur from Steve while he carves up a couple chicken breasts, one for Natasha and one for himself, before he tends to the steak to do much of the same. Nat watches him divvy up the food so that she can try some of the beef as well and can't help but to duck her head with a small grin. It's bittersweet, this. But it's almost fun. She thought she'd forgotten what happiness in any capacity could feel like.

"Careful on your way back, boys. Rocket's got the stuff for the cake." She can also see that Nebula's found the compote and the whipped cream from the fridge to top it with. Nat offers her a flit of a grin by way of thanks though it only gets her a blank stare in return before Rocket's got Nebula's attention well and focused on the cake.

"Wherever, huh." Rocket should know better. She's going to stick them perfectly even apart, making a little checkerboard distribution over the loaf cake with every single one of the candles in the box. When she glances back at Rocket she's quietly pleased with herself. "This will maximize the fire on the cake."

"You heard the lady, Steve. Your whole cake is about to be on fire."

[pirateangelbaby]

Rocket does know better. He would have been a bit more haphazard about where he placed them, but in lieu of having a hundred candles, the entire box will do. He grins at her handiwork and pulls the trigger on the lighter, waving the little flame around as if he needed it to get everybody's attention, before lighting each one in turn. "One Terran party torch, coming up."

"I suppose it could be worse," Thor says to Steve, as an aside. "He could have used an actual blowtorch."

Emboldened by the break from everyone else staring at him, Thor impulsively looks around at them again, the look on his face hopefully implying that they'd better not leave him to his own devices on this one, before he clears his throat and begins the traditional Midgardian birthday song. He hasn't had cause to sing in some time, and his voice is rougher than it once was, but this is for Steve and if ever there was a time to push past his discomfort, it's now. Celebrating that someone he cares about still lives, and can share the day with his friends.

[red_room]

Someone's going to hear Okoye ask how he can pull the childproof trigger on that grill lighter with his itty bitty hands but Natasha just grins back at her while Nebula looks on in almost childlike wonder at the cake aflame. Nat rests her plate in her lap to bring her hands up at about chest level and orchestrate from her seat when Thor begins to sing. A sharp look from the spy soon has Rhodey joining in, as well as herself.

Not near enough voices. Natasha sings twice as loud as she normally would for Clint who isn't here. For Tony who can't let the past go. For Wanda and Vis, for Sam and for Bucky. For every person who should be here and either can't or isn't. Those who're left sing.

Because they're all each other's got.

Steve wipes at his eye with the heel of one palm when they've finished. Takes a look at the cake Nebula's holding out to him. He doesn't need Natasha chipping in to make a wish and blow out the candles. There's only one wish any of them have. One that's seemingly impossible but he wishes for it anyway.

A way to make things right again.

Steve blows out the candles to a round of uncoordinated applause.